Okay. So I need to get my arse in gear and start blogging again. But what to write about? Hmmm . . . {tapping chin}. Really all that come to mind are intensely personal heartrending struggles that involve the happiness and well-being of others and aren't really suitable for semi-public consumption. Although at this point probably no one wastes their time checking this blog anyway, so what am I worried about? :-) Still, others would be hurt and rightly so if I used this space as an airing ground for my personal implosions.
So . . . awfully dry summer we're having, isn't it?
You're right, that's not working. Maybe I should just stick with funny stories and keep the fact that my heart is trembling so close to annhilation to myself. Here's an observation for you: even though I think I see some pain on the horizon, I'm not afraid. I think that's because I have a few people I trust now. Trust is good. A good starting point anyway. Someday when I'm a little stronger maybe I won't need caretaking. But I've lived my whole life up to this point pretending that I'm already there, that I exist without need. Maybe that's not quite true. I want to be brave but maybe the brave thing is to be honest about this one point: I hurt.
So there. Now you know. Not that I was fooling anyone to begin with but . . . it feels good to come clean.
Maybe some funny stories tomorrow.
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